Demitasse #7

 

Demitasse   a sip of the Compendium

Summer 1998

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Demitasse is a free sip of the sardonic social commentary and reports of  real life weird that fill the Ladies' Fetish & Taboo Society Compendium of Urban Anthropology (the Compendium).

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(c) copyright Kathy Biehl 1998


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Feel free to distribute copies or excerpts of Demitasse, as long as you include the copyright notice and do not distribute Demitasse for commercial purposes.

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BEAST WATCH


The Beast has moved!


We're tracking that rough beast as it slouches towards Bethlehem to be born. As of the summer solstice, he's 778 paces out. See what spurred him on at http://fortunaworks.com/FortunaWorks/BeastWatch.html.

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My Life Has a Soundtrack


I'm driving up Montrose Boulevard, near the Museum of Fine Arts - Houston,  when a harried grown-up herds a bunch of school kids into formation at a crosswalk. Bowing to the approach of an Obstacle en mass, I brake. The moment the first kid's foot hits the street, the car radio launches into the Beach Boys' "Wouldn't It Be Nice" ("...if we were older, then we wouldn't have to wait so long.")

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ACTUAL VENDING MACHINE CONTENTS


The scrolling LED display on the first floor vending machine in Rice University's Fondren Library invites the customer to "Enjoy a snack." Here's what the machine sells:


Envelopes

Five mechanical #2 lead pencils

Pencil sharpener

Two energizer "AA" batteries

Pink highlighter

Liquid Paper

Medium point ball point pen w/comfort cushion grip

Ruler

Fine point ball point pen

.5mm lead pencil refills

Post-It notes (large and small)

Memo pad with fake brown leather cover

100 index cards .65

One 3.5" DD,DS unformatted diskette

Two DS,HD formatted 3.5" Mac diskettes

"Duster" raincoat in a bag...tagline "your foul weather friend"

Luden's honey lemon cough drops

Luden's original menthol cough drops

Non-lube Trojans (three pack)

Spermacidal lube Trojans (three pack)

Kleenex


Thanks to the Rice grad who alerted us to the machine (who shall remain nameless) and to the non-Rice grad who procured the contents listing for us (who answers to many names, among them Rick Mantler).

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A doctor in our acquaintance recently survived a week populated with elderly Alzheimer's patients prone to swearing and beating up family members. The most verbally cantankerous refused to take his medicine and held his ground when his family assembled at the hospital to discuss the matter with the doctor. The patient wouldn't budge. He announced that he wouldn't take orders from a doctor who didn't have a Mont Blanc pen. A family member had one. He put it in the doctor's pocket. "The doc has the pen!" the patient boomed. "I'll take the meds!" And he did.


The next morning our informant caught a glimpse of the colleague assigned to look in on the patient that day. That doctor usually carries a Mont Blanc pen in his pocket. Our informant checked. It was there. He smiled.

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How to subscribe to the Compendium


Send $10 ($14 outside US and Canada) for four issues to:

    [address defunct; send back issue inquiries to kbiehl AT fortunaworks.com]


Or send $6 ($5 outside US & Canada) for the next issue:


Moving On '98 (Vol. X, No. 2 &3), featuring:


I Love a Parade!

       in which impersonators of dead comedians take to the streets,

       along with mermaids, men in platform shoes and the inexplicable,

       near-ubiquitous Supergirl

The detonation (and target-hitting) of another scud lust missile

The Continuing Adventure of Mass Transit

      or what people get away with doing in public

New Horizons in Snack Food

The Dangers of Mall Walking (hint: they carry a clip board)

How Microsoft is wasting our lives

The sorry tale of a book deal gone stoopid


...Not to mention more inductions into the Bad Name Hall of Fame,

ranting about restaurants, research into the migratory properties of animate

objects, random weird, odd coincidences and the best letters in zinedom


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How to subscribe to Demitasse:


Demitasse is an electronic newsletter of highlights from the Ladies' Fetish

& Taboo Society Compendium of Urban Anthropology.  It's published just as

erratically as the print zine, which is to say, whenever.  It will also contain

behind-the-scenes announcements and ramblings that may or may not make

it to the photocopied page.  It's free for the asking!


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