Field Guide to Astrological Types

Libra - Pisces



Characteristic markings: Dresses in Patagonian clothes.

Characteristic behaviors: Laughs to the point of tears. Takes trips. Likes to talk about

    the reasons behind anything and everything. Always up for ethnic food, to the

    extreme. Likes to surround himself with objects from foreign countries.

The unevolved Sagittarian: Tells unbelievably stupid jokes that would embarrass

    other people.

Dream Sagittarius surroundings: Some place else.

On the job: Rarely at his desk.

The uncharitable might consider Sagittarius: The unsuspecting butt of a cosmic joke;

    here today, goon tomorrow.


                                                        Children's book: The Rand McNally World Atlas

The Adventures of Don Juan
                                                        Around the World in 80 Days
                                                        Blazing Saddles
                                                        The Comic
                                                        Foreign Correspondent
                                                        The Nutty Professor
                                                        Safety Last
                                                        Urban Cowboy

Philosophy: "I play with it. Maybe. Unless I feel like playing somewhere else. Or with someone else. Don't bug me about it!"

Characteristic markings: Was born in a suit.

Characteristic behaviors: Working. Finds fulfillment paying bills. Surrounds self with

    fading photographs of older relatives.

Dream Capricorn surroundings: (a) Furnished just like Grandmother's; (b) inside a

    bank vault.

On the job: The ultimate company man. Actually feels guilty taking sick time.

Special skills: Balancing checkbooks. Being the Daddy.

The uncharitable might consider Capricorn: A boring old fart; the ultimate party


Fun fact: If Capricorns had the gumption to wager, which they don't, they'd clean up

    at "guess your age" stands at carnivals, due to a singular hormonal shift that

    occurs on their 30th birthdays and freezes the process of aging.

                                                            Children's book:
The Little Engine That Could

Executive Suite

                                                            Office Space
                                                            Romancing the Stone

                                                            Rules of Engagement
                                                            The Ten Commandments
                                                            The Treasure of the Sierra Madre
                                                            Wall Street

                                                            Working Girl

Philosophy: "I work on it and don't understand why all you fools aren't doing the same thing."

Characteristic markings: Attire that stems from another dimension in time/space.

Characteristic behaviors: Distant and detached. Sometimes unwittingly. Owns

    objects that no one else has ever seen before. Has a sense of timing that is

    usually out of sync with the rest of this plane.

On the job: Keeps things in the office the are completely out of context.

In meetings: Aquarius is the one saying things that appear to be non sequiturs,

    which usually make sense to everyone else years down the line.

Special skills: Clearinghouse of people, lots of them interesting ones.

The uncharitable might consider Aquarius: Heartless aliens.

Fun fact: People often treat Aquarians as if they came from another planet, and

    maybe they did.

Children's book: A Wrinkle in Time

Back to the Future

It Came From Outer Space
The Man Who Fell to Earth
The Misfits
Nothing Sacred
Rebel Without a Cause


Philosophy: "I know something weird about it."


Characteristic markings: Sweet and dreamy expressions that make the rest of us

    wonder how they reach their destinations.

Characteristic behaviors: Apologizing for everything. Talking to animals. Making do.

Pet props: Wine bottles. Pocket flasks. Fish trophies.

The unevolved Pisces: Steals hot-dogs from squirrels in the park. (It's been done.


On the job: A shoulder for everyone.

Special skills: Mind-melding.

The uncharitable might consider Pisces: A professional depressive.

Fun fact: Some are mystic, some out to lunch, some just chemically altered. Most are poster children for the existence of divine protection.

                                                                    Children's book: The Little Mermaid

                                                                    The Blood of A Poet
                                                                     Days of Heaven
                                                                    The Dream Team
                                                                    From Here to Eternity
                                                                    Grand Illusion
                                                                    Great Expectations

Philosophy: "I am one with it (and with everything else.)"

Go here for Aries through Virgo

Copyright 1995, 2013 by Kathy Biehl. All rights reserved. Permission is granted for electronic replication of this article only if you include the copyright notice.

Excerpted from Ladies' Fetish & Taboo Society Compendium of Urban Anthropology
Falling Behind '94,
Vol. VII, No. 3 & 4

Characteristic markings: A smile on the face, and a finger pointing at someone else.

Characteristic behaviors: Hates confrontation. Direct, that is. Will write you a letter

    or mouth off to someone else rather than come out and tell you something.

    Rarely has a suggestion for where he wants to eat but when out of balance    

    always has something wrong to say about whatever you suggest, because he's

    waiting for you to read his mind and come up with the place he really wants to go.

The unevolved Libra: Can push even the most agreeable person to feelings of


On the job: Libra office decor includes something that is there for no reason except

    that he admires its beauty.

In meetings: Libra can be extremely helpful, especially in troubled sessions (unless,

    of course, Libra is the source of the trouble.) This one will either sugar coat the

    bad news, or will shift the focus by going comatose with tension or provoking a


Special skills: Can phrase the most damning insult so disarmingly that it eludes the

    recipient. Works most comfortably behind people's backs.

The uncharitable might consider Libra: The Queen Mother of passive-aggression.

Fun fact: Behold the true tyrant of the Zodiac.

Children's book: Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior


                                                                    Cyrano de Bergerac

                                                                    The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie


                                                                    Phantom of the Opera

                                                                    To Be or Not to Be           

                                                                    The Sound of Music

Philosophy: "I think about every possible angle, then let you guess my conclusion."



Characteristic markings: Intense eyes that say, "You can't hide from me."

Characteristic behaviors: Prefers darkness. Likes bathrooms. Will talk about a

    subject, especially if it involves other people, with a dedication bordering on

    obsession, but is extremely circumspect about himself. Reads your mind.

Special skills: Conducting a conversation with no facial clues whatsoever of what’s

    going through his mind.

The unevolved Scorpio: Maintains files on friends. Records phone conversations, no

    matter how trivial. Wants to possess you.

Pet Props: FBI-issue sunglasses, even (especially) indoors. Handcuffs. Photos of


On the job: Locks his desk.

Special skills: Esionage. Lying. Secrets. Loves 'em; keeps 'em; figures 'em out.

The uncharitable might consider Scorpio: Terrifying as hell.

Fun fact: Probably did a lot of past life time in dungeons.

Children's book: The Shining.

Dangerous Liaisons.
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
The Collector
Crime & Punishment
Flesh and the Devil
I Am Curious (Yellow)
I Love You to Death
Little Shop of Horrors
The Magnificent Obsession
Of Human Bondage
The Prisoner
Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!

Philosophy: "I spy on it."